You recover from a cold, a flu, chicken pox. It’s an illness that goes away completely so you can recover. You feel like garbage for a day, or far more, your body heals and you get well.
If you have cancer, fight it, survive, you go into remission. You are considered a survivor.
If you are diagnosed with depression, you are given drugs or therapy, life management skills and you learn to live with your illness.
I think the word ‘recovery’ is wrong or not quite correct when discussing an eating disorder. From those I know who are ‘recovered’, even many years later that voice still exists but they are strong enough to laugh at it and squash it flat before it says more than a word.
Nicole said it right. It’s mangement, where I am in control, and it’s responsible. The food does not control/manage me or my life, I do. It’s not recovery. It’s management of my life.
As a step forward I will begin to manage properly, and towards a healthy track in life. I will not binge, purge, or restrict obsessively as I need to figure out how to balance my life with food. I can’t be excited to go home and see my family for the sole reason of eating a bunch of garbage, or happy for Saturday because it’s the day I don’t eat much.
I read in ‘Kid Rex’ that she made a meal plan for each day, what time, portions, what to eat and stuck to it. I like that idea. I have a book already but it’s filled with other stuff, and ntoes about how gross I feel I am. Perhaps tomorrow it’s time for a new journal?
Tomorrow it’s eye appointment day, and maybe I’ll go get my passport photo. As soon as that’s done I can go dye my hair, with a debate still raging on the colour
Time to get back to living, and not only through food.